About 4 years ago I was asked to be on a panel. The event was held in NYC, and it included some pretty big heavyweights from the agency/advertising world.
Needless to say, my company (Lotame) was by far the smallest of the companies (of the five asked to participate) and, I was surrounded by many multi billions dollars of value.
Lotame was tiny, compared to these behemoths.
The people on the panel with me were the leaders of the largest social networks, as well as people from the largest advertising agencies in the world --- and then me.
As we approached the stage in front of hundreds of people, I shook hands with each one, and we all placed our microphones on our shirts – as all the panelists are in the act of clipping small microphones to the collar of our shirts, the man next to me says in a British accent –
“So, what the hell do you do?”
Mind you, the event is about to start – I’m sitting next to this man, and he speaks loudly enough for many attendees in the front row to hear his voice……
“What the hell is up with the name of your company anyway, what is a LowTAHHMeee?”
The event starts, and off we go.
I’m sitting on a high bar stool, with 5 others panelists in front of the room. I’m sitting next to the guy making fun of me before we start, and the joking (at my expense continues)…….it continues aimed at me -- each and every turn.
As I’m speaking about the value of social data, targeting and platforms --- he says, “Agencies are not in the business of social data. We DON’T GET WHAT PEOPLE LIKE YOU DO – as far as I’m concerned, your company is as confusing as your name.”
People chuckled. His barbs were both verbal (spoken) – as well as body language, when it was my turn to speak.
He proceeded for the next 40 minutes, to make me feel uncomfortable. He threw out one liners intended to “zing me” about my ideas and concepts, my company – and what we were doing to help further data, targeting – and online advertising. He told me, “You don’t get it, do you?” He said things like, “Companies like yours are holding us back from moving forward.”
I sat in my chair, sweating. I had investors and board members in the room who had trusted me with tens of millions of dollars of their money, and here was this “heavy hitter” in the advertising business telling hundreds of people, “Andy, you don’t know what is going on.”
When it was my turn to speak, I did not challenge him. I was respectful, but uncomfortable. He cut me off, he laughed and mocked my comments.
I started to sweat. I clenched my teeth. My chair broke. I was embarrassed.
As I left the stage – I was questioning my self, my vision, and my company. I tried to put on a brave face – but my colleagues in the room, knew I was hurting inside. I had let someone belittle me, in a way that had not been done to me since the grade school bully took my lunch money. But, this time it was not about lunch money – but about EGO. I had taken the verbal abuse for close to an hour – and, I did not fight back, because I let a gigantic EGO walk (him) all over me – and pound my confidence into the ground.
I drove home that night in a daze. And, I never EVER forgot it.
It was 4 years ago, and it feels like yesterday. I have seen this gentleman at multiple industry events over the past 3 to 4 years, and each time, I avoid him like the plague. I steer clear of him, his title – and his entourage. But now, he has a bigger job, and he has a larger ego than when we sat on the panel together 4 years ago. Today, he commands respect. Today he is the leader of a billion dollar company. Each time I see him at a cocktail party, a conference, a summit – I literally do all I can to NOT have to communicate or interact with him.
Fast Forward to Today:
I’m at a major industry conference in Miami. The man who was rude to me on the panel – is speaking in front of 800 people on a stage.
He is talking about the value of data. The evolution of agencies, and how they are relevant, he is talking about platforms, audiences, he is talking about social data.
HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE VERY THINGS AND TOPICS THAT I SPOKE ABOUT WHEN HE WAS POKING FUN AT ME IN NYC….
4 years ago when I mentioned the value of segmentation of audiences, looking at interactions inside of creative --- he scoffed at me publically.
Today, he spoke about all of this (and much more) for 30 minutes.
I was baffled. I sat in my chair in the back of the room. As I listened to his vision of the future for agencies, I wanted to stand up and yell out, “Hey dude, we were talking about audiences, data, and platforms 4 years ago when you made fun of all this stuff, and now --- seems like you have either gotten a lot smarter, or I’ve got to run faster ahead of you – because if you are speaking my language, I’m in trouble.”
And then he said something that was over the top. He talked about a topic that he is DEAD WRONG ON (I wont go into it) – and, I sat in my chair seething. He spoke about a mentor of mine, and how he ran a business differently. He spoke and made a point about something that left his flank wide open on a subject he knows at very high level, but not intimately.
He was NOT telling the entire story about a big industry challenge that he is involved in.
I asked for the microphone in front of 800 people, and asked a tough question. I let 4 years pass me by. And, off I went.
After I was done with my question, here was his response.
“Andy, I sat on a panel with you 4 years ago on those big chairs in NYC. I was rather nasty to you. I hope you accept my apology. Now, don’t block the doors on my way out – Andy is a big guy, and I’m gonna run out of here when I’m done answering his question.”
He got a tepid laugh from the crowd. But, many wanted to hear his answer to my hard hitting question. The question I asked challenged his ethics, his honesty, and his transparency. He brought up the tough topic – therefore it provided the opening to ask the tough question about it.
He did not answer. He danced around it like a politician.
I walked out of the conference – and, into no less than 20 people telling me that it was a great question – and they were NOT surprised at his “lack of response.”
I’ve changed. My business has changed, and my life has changed. I’m proud of what we do.
Mostly, I’m proud that I’ve raised children who respect, and truly value each person they have interaction with, in life.
I’m proud of the ethics and integrity displayed by the employees of my company Lotame, on a daily basis. We are at the cutting edge of an evolving business, and we consistenly - under promise and over deliver.
I’m proud that no school bully, or CEO can take my lunch money. You want to embarrass me? You go for it. You want to make yourself feel better at my expense? Good on ya.
If it makes you feel better, that’s all that matters.
People come and go in our lives, but we are each stuck -- with ourselves. If I have mistreated anyone in business, I sincerely apologize. I truly do. If I've treated anyone with a lack of respect -- I do offer my apologies.
I do know one thing.
The older I get, the more the issue of "Self Perception" enters my mind. How do I feel about myself? How do others VIEW ME?
Today was a good day. And, I’m proud I can write what I want.
4 years is a long time to wait for an apology sir.
Apology accepted.
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