YOU AIN'T GONNA LEARN WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW

The Circle Diner

 

“Can I have three eggs, sunny side up, and extra well done home fries please?”

 

 

It was the same order I had given hundreds of times at the Circle Diner, sitting with my relatives.  

 

 

This particular time, I was sitting across from my Grandparents.   The silence was deafening and their hurt was palpable.   There were long pauses between words.   They both were clearly anguished.   

 

 

“Andrew, tell us AGAIN why you want to move to California?”

 

 

My car was packed to the gills, as I glanced out the window of the diner – the car had all of my worldly possessions --- and, it was all worth exactly nothing.     There were clothes, golf clubs, and music.   That’s pretty much all I remember that was in the car on that day.    My car was sitting 30 feet away, and this was my goodbye breakfast with the people that loved me, more than life itself.   

 

 

My Grandparents could not fathom how any family member of their's (let alone their eldest grandchild) could actually plan to move 3000 miles away, and live in a place that had earthquakes, crazy people, and more earthquakes.   (it did not have riots YET, that was after I moved there) 

 

“Grandpa, I know it sounds weird, but I really want to live in San Diego – I think the job market, and the lifestyle is what I want to try while I am young.” 

 

 

I got a blank stare.

 

 

My Grandmother was weepy, and she got up to go to the bathroom.

 

 

When my Grandmother had left the table, my grandfather calmly reached into his pocket, and pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills,, he placed them in my hand and said -- “This will help with the gas money for the ride across the country.”

 

 

I was relieved.   I had a total of $600 of my own money for the trip, plus whatever he just handed me.

 

 

But, that moment is forever emblazoned on my psyche.   The very moment my grandfather handed me enough money, to take my mind off of the very thing he had just given me.   Money.  

 

 

Suddenly the stress of NOT having enough money was gone.   It was replaced by guilt.  The guilt of burdening people who loved me.   The guilt of leaving.  

 

 

My Grandmother returned to the table.

 

 

 

“I guess you must get on the road, to start your trip.”   As she said this, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

 

 

As we walked out of the Circle Diner, I felt as though the money was bulging out of my pocket.    The bills were held together by a rubber band – and, I don’t think I ever had that much money in my possession. 

 

 

As they walked me to my car, guilt overwhelmed me.   I was saying goodbye to my Grandparents, and they were struggling to figure out, WHY one of their family members would move so far away, from them.

 

 

I drove away from the diner, and onto Rt.130.   My grandparents stood at their car, waving as I disappeared amongst the other cars.    

 

 

I counted the money, and it was $3000.    I felt like I could live a year on that much money.    

 

 

But, having that money made my drive easier.   It made the music from my cassette player sound better.   It made the entire experience sweeter.

 

 

My Grandparents were my first investors.   They believed in me.    They were both angels, as well as angel investors.

 

 

 

Sometimes, it is important to look back and see who in our lives our, “angel investors” actually are.

 

Acknowledge them.    Thank them if you can.  I was inspired to do so.  

 

 

If you cannot acknowledge them, do something to pass on their good energy and spirit.   Do for someone else, what your angel did for you.

 

 

It makes the drive easier, and music sweeter on the journey. 

 

My Winter Jacket

 

 

“What do you mean you gave away my winter jacket?”

 

 

“How can you give away my stuff, that was my jacket – I cannot believe you did that.”

 

 

Then, I went to school.   I had to see my jacket on that kid nearly each cold day, for the next two years.

 

 

It was the winter of 1979.   I was 11 years old, and in the 6^th grade.  

 

 

One kid in particular, had less than others.   He was a kid who’s parents had fallen on hard times, and it was apparent.   It was evident in his clothes.  Jeans that had holes in the legs, and were three inches short.  Big holes in his sneakers, toes nearly protruding out.  

 

 

After school one day, he was wearing a short sleeve T - shirt on our walk home.    It was about 20 degrees.    As kids walking with him we thought nothing of it.   It seemed natural that he would walk briskly – without a winter jacket.  It always happened this way.   

 

One day my Mom noticed this young man on a freezing cold day, wearing nothing but a short sleeve shirt.  

 

 

 

Looking back, I cant be sure if any other parents did anything about this young man, and his lack of outerwear (and warmth), but that very day, I know my Mom did.     

 

 

She said to me, “Doesn’t it bother you that he doesn’t have a jacket in the freezing weather?” 

 

 

I brushed it off.   “That’s his decision.    He always wears light clothes.   Almost every day this winter, he wears T shirts to school.”   As I uttered this sentence,  my breath could be seen billowing out into the cold air.   My statement of his clothing choice was weird, as the cloud floated from the freezing air.   

 

 

Little did I know that my response to my Mom, would cause a major firestorm.

 

 

 

That’s afternoon, I went to basketball practice across town at Hammarskjold School.   It was about 5 miles away, and my Mom dropped me off.     I got out of the car – and as I closed the door, to go into practice,  she said --- “Don’t forget, you are going home with Paul’s mom.”

 

 

And, off she went.

 

 

 

I remember this, because of a very weird occurrence that played out that day, that stayed with me for a long time.

 

 

My mother is extremely expressive.  So much so, that (like most Moms) she will engage you on any topic -- from sex, to politics, to business – all the way to the most intimate of emotional topics, without batting an eye.   I love her for it.   

 

 

But, this specific winter day – she did not say much.   As we rode in the car to basketball practice, it was particularly quiet in the back seat of our big yellow station wagon.   I recall it being irregularly quiet since she inquired of me, “Doesn’t it bother you that he doesn’t have a jacket in the freezing weather?”

 

 

I got home from practice that night.

 

 

I went to my room.

 

 

 

My closet was empty. 

 

 

 

There was a bunch of empty garbage bags outside of the closet door, sitting on my floor.  

 

 

I yelled downstairs, “Mom, where is my clothes?”

 

 

She casually replied from the kitchen --- words which I remember to this day.

 

 

 

“I gave them to Steven.”

 

My heart dropped.   My stomach sank.   

 

 

 

I ran downstairs.   

 

 

I was in shock.   How could she?   

 

Yelling, screaming, crying on the floor ensued.   I was shaken to the core.   

 

I looked like a seal flipping around the floor in pain.   Crying, wailing, primal fear of my possessions being taken away.   I could not catch my breath.....

 

Through all of this, she continued to make dinner.    Not missing a beat. 

 

 

"Andy, you are lucky.  Steven has nothing.   It amazes me that he can be outside in 20 degree temperatures, wearing nothing.   But, it shocked me more that you did not notice it, when I asked you."   

 

 

The verbal onslaught continued -- "I gave away your clothes, and your WINTER JACKET, BECAUSE WE CAN DO IT."   One day it will make sense, but right now it does not." 

 

I can't tell you the pain I expressed, and experienced that day.   I thought it was insurmountable.   

 

The next day, I went to school, and there was Steven.  He was wearing my red velour V neck shirt.  He was sporting my cool winter jacket.  

 

 

Steven never said thank you.   

 

He never acknoledged it to me.  Nor I him. 

 

A few days later, my Mom took me to the stores and I was able to buy all new clothes.   But, I complained the whole time -- missing my shirts, jeans, and jacket.   

 

But, it turns out -- my Mom put all my stuff folded into plastic bags -- and anonomously dropped them off Steven's families front porch.    No note, no names.  

 

She never asked for, nor received credit.     To this day - no one knows she did that, now 33 years ago.  

 

I'm not sure to this day if Steven ever knew it was my stuff that he wore.   

 

I did. 

 

He wore it long after I would have.   He wore my warddrobe into the 8th grade, long after it was intended to last.  

 

 

 

And, I never said it -- but, "Thanks Mom."

 

I get it.   

 

 

 

The Irony of Old School

 

 

“We need to really hustle to win this business.   Lets pull out all the stops to convince the client, that we can really help them.”

 

“Lets travel to meet them, and spend time with them.”

 

 

Strategy, combined with creativity.   New Communication.   Results.   Value.

 

 

 

The polar opposite of this response, and reaction is:

 

“We have a happy stable of clients, our accounts are all safe and secure." 

 

“I have a good relationship with the client do not worry.”

 

“We are a part of the their business, everything is fine.”

 

“We are automatic part of their planning, we are included on almost everything.”

 

How many of us have heard these familar type responses about current customers?  

 

 

 

 

Recently, we have won business – simply by outhustling.   Showing up.   Not waiting.  

 

 

MAKING IT HAPPEN.   BEING THERE.  

 

 

In this era of conference calls, webex presentations, emails, voicemails,  nothing replaces the good old nature, of the “door to door” mentality --- of just plain, showing up.

 

 

We heard on a conference call today from a client, about a large vendor competing on a piece of business with us.   The other company is entrenched.   The other company we are competing against, has a major leg up.   The other company is taking this large piece of business, “for granted.”

 

 

“Andy, your competitor XXXX wants our business badly.   We currently use them.. They are calling us non-stop to renew.    However, we are going to go with you guys.  You want to know why?   Your folks have been here.  Your team has been here (not in NYC) 4x in the past 2 months.   This requires effort.    We are going with you, because your team has gone the extra mile, and shown up, where the other company has not.”

 

 

This wont work for every company trying to sell a product.   But, for big ticket items, and large deals – travel and the commitment to be in FRONT OF prospects and customers, cannot be replaced by email or phone calls.

 

 

 

I’m allergic to extensive travel expenses.   But, I’m never allergic when I see  qualified travel expenses on our balance sheet --- in an effort to differentiate.

 

 

Travel is a differentiator.    And, sometimes it is taken for granted.

 

 

I wrote in a post that  -- “'Ive learned from some of the best.   And, what I've learned about "Differentiation" may not be all that different. “

 

Traveling to spend time with a client (or big prospect) is not different.

 

But, for some companies it is becoming a lost art.  It’s being viewed as an expense to cut.  It is being viewed as “old school.”

 

In the coming weeks, I will be writing about key differences (and difference makers to the selling process) that for many have become overlooked, and possibly negated. 

 

The irony is, we are winning business because we are "outhustling, and outtraveling." 

 

And, it has become our little secret.   Our distinct advantage.   

 

It's not new.  But, it is becoming different.  

 

Amazing how the "old shoe" that sits in the closet, (a current vendor, a current technology at a company) - can be thrown out and replaced by a new vendor -- using OLD SCHOOL TACTICS, like face to face meetings - and it often happens that the new company making an investment in what is thought of as, old school selling. Old school Willy Loman tactics --- of just showing up.  

 

I share with you an example of my efforts to differentiate.   I've left the client, and the city out of the email -- but, you will see, my goal is to place our people, and our difference, out front. 

 

***************************************************

(copy of email to client below, names and placed removed) 

 

 

I was inspired to write this email to both of you, by something that happened to me yesterday.    The idea from this email came to be at 2:32am last night, and nearly got me out of bed to write.....but, I waited until I got into the office, to sit at my desk.

 

My team was at a meeting in Chicago with a prospect for our platform, Crowd Control.   We are up against one other company, and the other company went in and pitched last week.   Yesterday was our turn with their leadership, and senior ad operations team.   I called in from NYC, while our team (from Lotame) were present in the room.  

I think the meeting went extremely well.   The Lotame folks in the room, went through a demo, and answered a lot of specific questions.   It was a 90 minute meeting.  

  

Turns out,  (in the weeks leading up to the face to face presentation) before our folks went to Chicago (our team) had done WEBEX demonstrations, and had some technical calls about integration.    The past few months they were considering potential partners, and had narrowed it down to two companies.   Us, and one other DMP. 

It was clear, we were in second place heading into the demo.   They had not really asked a ton of questions during the last week, and I know when, at the very end of a considered purchase, you dont get much contact from a client -- well, that is not a great sign, and furthermore -- I lower my expectations of us landing the deal.   

I learned 2 key things that I wanted to share with both of you, that transpired from this yesterday meeting in Chicago -- both are important, and worthy of me taking a few minutes to write this note to you. 

I was asked by the COO yesterday,   "Andy, all things being equal,  what do you feel is the biggest difference in your company, versus XXXXXXX?"  

My answer is what I wanted to share with you.

  

As you consider which partner to choose, it's important that you know a bit about the people who you will interfacing with, and who will be responsible for making the XXXXXXXXXX engagement with a DMP successful.    

"I truly think our core difference is the Lotame people, who are vested on working for you, and with you -- and if you permit me, I would like to give you a quick background on the team that will make your Data Management experience a GRAND SLAM, and results oriented for you."  

 

(inserted bio's of the team working on account here, with pictures)

 

If you have gotten this far in this note, I want to thank you. 

After all, the people behind a company - make it what it is.   I'm proud of our team, from technology, operations, and integration.   As I've noted, I offer our all of our clients as references for you to call.   

One last thing.   A major learning (from the Chicago meeting yesterday) was the value of the face to face meeting that took place (although late in the process). I believe we will win this business, solely because our team was in the room, and got a chance to see the people, that back up the company we have built.   The prospect shared with us.

 

If you both can swing it, I am willing to come to XXXXXX to buy you dinner on Thursday night.   I will fly Thursday morning, and would welcome a chance to meet face to face with both of you. Choosing a DMP partner is a big decision, and if you havent finalized your choice, I want to make sure I do everything I can to win your trust, and build a bond -- expressing how important XXXXXXX would be to our company. 

Please let me know if I can go ahead and plan on XXXXXX for Thursday night.   It would be my pleasure. 

I hope we are not too late.   Lotame will run through walls to prove what the -- people behind the technology can do.   I hope this email (and the content/spirit) expresses the subtle differences in us versus others, and that the, experience of the team assigned to you wont be so subtle, when ultimately dictating success.  

XXXXXXX is hugely successful because of the people, the technology, and the relationships you have forged with your clients.    My goal is to do the same.  The people behind XXXXXXX have become leaders, and I am hopeful we as a company, can have a fraction of the success you have delivered for your clients, and

shareholders.   

Let me know if Thursday night works, I need to book my travel.

Best, 

Andy

 

 

 

 

 

Closer to Failure

 

 

Another voicemail left.

 

Another email not responded to.

 

Another email returned to as “undeliverable”.

 

 

I was with some friends recently who shared with me a story that happened last week.  

 

“My name is XXXXX and, I’m a reporter with the Washington Post.    Please tell Kevin to call me back as soon as possible, I'm doing a story and your company will be included.”

 

He left his phone number.

 

Turns out, the person leaving the message was not a reporter, but a sales person looking to get in the door. 

 

My friend (Kevin) called him back with the PR person from his company.    The guy (who called and said he was with the Washington Post) answered, and identified himself as a sales rep, assigned the account. 

 

It’s horrible.  It’s horrendous.   And, it’s unethical.  

 

When I first heard the story I was mad.   Mad that a person would lie, act in a deceitful manner, and bring negative attention on themselves, and their company.

 

Then, I sat back and let 24 hours go by......

 

Is it desperation that leads people to act like this?    Is it a sales person who is below quota, and needs to make a sale to keep their job?

 

Is it a sales manager who leads his team with the message to “get the sale and make your numbers at all costs?” 

 

 

 

I’ve been on both sides of this equation, and I’m torn.  

 

 

Differentiating ourselves may be among the hardest things to do in all of our lives.

 

Calling yourself a Washington Post reporter, and looking to get a quote for a story will certainly differentiate you.

 

 

I’ve written before how I separated myself from the pack, and it worked to my advantage. 

 

I've learned from some of the best.   And, what I've learned about "Differentiation" may not be all that different. 

 

Be yourself.   Take risks.  Do your own marketing.   It doesnt need to be expensive.   Use different methods.   I received a "YouTube" personal video, that a candidate we were interviewing sent to me "personalized to me" from his Ichat account.  

 

Different. 

 

But, overall being yourself is the key.  I work with someone who got an email today.  He was being told "no" by a prospect, and here is the email he got, turning him down: 

 

"While I am still “not interested” I do want to respect the fact that you send a handwritten note and handled the “no” with class. This stuff shouldnt go unnoticed , so I won’t let it, thanks."

 

Different. 

 

I think getting in the door has become 75% of any sale.  Respect people who can get the foot in the door at your company, and learn from people who are in different fields, but you run into in your life.    

 

Have you ever stopped to ask someone, "how did you get in here, what was your strategy?"    I recently asked our janitorial service representative -- "how did you sell my company on your services?"      He told me, and I was blown away by his response.  

Being different and unique requires creativity, persistence -- and, class. 

 

Sadly, many of these attributes are missing, when someone during a sales process, refers to themselves as a Washington Post Reporter -- to get a chance to sell.

 

We all sell something.  We may be teachers, academics, operations, leaders, followers -- it matters very little.   The need for creativity and "out of the box" thinking is a necessity in order to survive, and flourish.

 

The world is changing.   And, while we may have better communication tools -- sadly, the sales tools we are teaching are anything but creative.  They are old.  They do not fit todays business culture.   

 

Different requires discipline, and going out on a limb -- with the distinct possiblity to fail.   We have been taugh not to fail. Failure is bad. 

 

In sales, it's anything but bad.     

 

Different.